Stage

I was being my usual charming and amusing self and this bloke says;

'You should be on the Stage. Yeah, cleaning it!!'

Everybody said it was a lovely funeral.

Feel

'I feel like a beer', I said.

The reply?

'Well you don't look like one'

Well, you don't look like a murder victim, but there you go.

Instructions

Making some flat pack furniture or perhaps loading up a game on your PC, maybe even stringing a kite. In need of guidance someone says;

'Pass the destructions'

Destruction is bound to ensue