Science

Trying to demonstrate that something was simple, my Boss said;

'It's not Rocket Science'

I know, I have a degree in Rocket Science. You clearly only have a degree in Banality.

Fish

I made a comment and someone replied;

'What's that got to do with the price of fish?'

Prick

5

I think I must hear this everyday. Ask someone at work if they're ok and they say;

'I will be when it's 5 o'clock'

Why? Do you become less of a nauseating twat at 5?

Hips

A woman was eating a cake and her female friend said;

'A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!'

Well it will be longer on your lips then.