Feathers

Having caused some unrest at work a colleague told me that I had;

'Ruffled some feathers'

I fed him to the Pigeons

Cat

Having caused some unrest at work a colleague told me that I'd;

'Put the Cat amongst the pigeons'

I fed him to the Lions

Fence

I told someone, who appeared to take something I said the wrong way, 'please don't take offence' and they replied;

'I'll take a gate then'

I upset them again by killing their entire family. That'll teach them.

Shot

Having made a bit of a mistake a colleague said;

'You've shot yourself in the foot'

I shot him in the face.

Blind

I was explaining a product to a customer when they said;

'You're trying to blind me with science'

So I blinded them with a rusty spoon instead.

Resemblance

Telling someone I thought they were being a bit stupid, they replied;

'I resemble that remark'

So I called them a corpse

Door

I asked how a friend's job was going and they replied;

'It keeps the Wolves from the door'

Why would any self respecting Wolf visit your door?

Fit

I asked someone how they were and they replied;

'I'm fit as a fiddle'

Kiddy fiddler you say? I'll have to kill you then I'm afraid.

Rain

I asked someone how they were and they replied;

'I am as right as rain'

I'll rain down on you, that's for sure